Finding the true essence of self : The journey of self reflection

There are times in life when all the responsibilities we look to keep control over are not reflected in the outcomes that we may expect. In many people’s lives, success, responsibilities, and daily routines are no longer enough which leads us to a more entrenched question of who I am and what my morals, standards and values really mean. Research has indicated that there is a definitive correlation with a person’s level of authenticity and their overall life outcomes. These comprise three areas, one being a person’s well-being where there is a strong positive link with acting in accordance to your true self, your psychological well being, and work engagement which connects with job satisfaction, mental stamina, and reduced employee turnover. It is a question that often can come to the surface during times of transition, disappointment, achievement, or uncertainty. Some people encounter it after reaching a major goal and realizing they still feel unfulfilled. Others discover it during periods of loss when the roles and identities they depended upon begin to shift and change. When we look at what could be part of the cost of losing your essence there needs to be an understanding of knowing that when people live basically through external labels, external validation or a sense of inflated ego they may experience self alienation which research has found a direct correlation to self-alienation and mental strain and stress. These elements can lead to cognitive burnout due to one operating behind a constant facade, fake persona or mask which requires a high level of executive processing and energy to uphold. The real search for your own true essence of self is not about reinventing who you are. It is about uncovering who you have been beneath all of the expectations, labels, and pressures of life. A high level of good and healthy mental health awareness requires a level of high emotional clarity and the ability to understand and identify why you feel a certain way with regards to life circumstances. Also being able to separate yourself from temporary mental noise which can take from your mental stability and true identity. Modern society rewards productivity, visibility, and achievement. 

From an early age in our lives, people are encouraged to pursue goals, earn recognition, and measure success through external benchmarks and still in many circumstances many discover that achievement alone does not create fulfillment within oneself. Research has indicated that people spend approximately 46.9% of their waking hours thinking about something other than what they are currently doing. Findings also suggested that mind wandering is associated with lower levels of happiness which is another aspect that connects with diminished mental health. There is also the aspect of ourselves where we are constantly focused on the future or replaying the past, which rarely creates opportunities to understand our present selves. All of these elements play a role in helping us with our understanding around self awareness.

Self-awareness is the ability to understand our thoughts, emotions, motivations, strengths, and limitations. Research has consistently linked self-awareness with greater emotional well-being, stronger relationships, improved decision-making, and increased resilience. Self-awareness also allows us to be able to recognize patterns that might otherwise remain invisible which in some situations may be detrimental or stunt our personal growth. One of the most effective ways to develop self-awareness is through reflective writing. Journaling creates space between

experience and reaction. And you can be in a space where you are able to really express your deeper levels of emotions and feelings without bias or judgment through journaling . Instead of simply living through events, we begin learning from them while expanding our self awareness, building self confidence and our self esteem. 

The other dimension that connects with everything with regards to being able to really do some deep introspection and reflection revolves around being able to examine your core values. Your core values represent the principles that guide our actions and decisions. When our lives align 

with our values, we often experience greater satisfaction and purpose. When our lives conflict with our values, we frequently experience frustration, stress, or emptiness. Your values act as an internal guide, they provide direction during uncertainty and when faced with difficult decisions, we may ask ourselves, which choice best aligns with my values? The true essence of self is connected to these values. They remain present regardless of changing circumstances. There is also another aspect that can sometimes play a role in how we view ourselves when we are measuring our own successes in life. Are we viewed as someone successful by others regulated by the standards and values we have? We can often fall into the trap of comparisons. Comparison is one of the greatest enemies of authenticity and in today’s digital world and with the influence that social media has on society , people are constantly exposed to carefully curated versions of others’ lives. The result is often a distorted perception of success. When we compare ourselves to others, we begin measuring our worth against standards that may not reflect our own values, morals or personal goals. 

When it comes time to be able to move towards reflection and peeling back layers of your ego to uncover what brings you authentic joy and inner peace there are actions steps that can be a part of that process to begin to help uncover your true self. One is to be able to identify joyful memories by reflecting on childhood moments when you have felt alive, free, and happy and begin to incorporate these passions into your schedule which helps you align with your natural state of mind and can also be added as part of your daily self care routine. Another good practice is to engage in practicing mindfulness and be aware of your thoughts and emotions without judging them. Another action step one can take is to audit your values and labels. Write down how you define yourself and evaluate if those beliefs really resonate and connect with your soul or are they just conditioned responses shaped by external expectations. Investing in yourself and challenging yourself to a more free form of self-awareness by not relying on external validation is where you can really get into understanding the true essence of self. We all have parts of ourselves that we can improve within aspects of our lives. Why not invest in self and reap the benefits of progressing towards fulfilling and meaningful lives that align with who we are truly meant to be. Till next time stay blessed.